Motherhood

Happy Mother’s Day?

Let me start this by saying I love my kids.  I love them very much.  I would be devastated without them.  But I wanted to take a moment to share how hard I have found motherhood.  I am hoping that by sharing my feelings, other moms might not feel guilty for not loving it all the time.

Recently I have found being a mom very overwhelming.  It seems to have gotten harder as the kids have gotten older.  My two boys are now 9 and 6. I find dealing with their school totally overwhelming (both have struggled more than I ever expected).  I feel like I don’t have enough time to help them as best as I want.  Also, I don’t want to do homework at night with them. I am tired and I just want to relax.

I am tired of being responsible for keeping track of everything. I am tired of being asked for stuff constantly.  I am tired of being a  mom.  It is something I feel horribly guilty about.  I wish I felt differently, but there are many days when I go running that I just want to keep running, and running, and running…

I signed up for this job willingly.  There really is no way out.  I do have days and moments that I enjoy it.  It just is not the norm for me.  I use my training as an escape from my frustrations with being a mom.  My feelings about motherhood will change at some point.  I just really wanted to share this so that if any other moms felt the same way, they can know they are not alone.