This week has been bittersweet. I did the Orange County Triathlon this weekend. I had a good race. I finished really strong. I had an awesome run. I finished 4th in my age group out of 35. I was kind of bummed at first because I was one place from getting on the podium. But the next day I was more appreciative of how well I did and I was a little bit prouder of my results. I am new to triathlon and as it turns out I qualified for Nationals in August. I found out Tuesday night and confirmed it Wednesday morning.
Yipee!!! But here is where the problem lies. If I want to go it is going to cost a fair amount of money. And I (and others) feel it is only for my benefit. It is selfish… or is it? Who benefits from me going or doing any of this? I know I benefit because I feel good about my accomplishments. I have fun. I meet and interact with interesting people. But what do the others in my life get out of it?
They do get a happier more balanced mother/wife. And hopefully I am serving as some type of role model to my children. But I am absent a lot on the weekend mornings while I train. I do my best to workout at times that don’t effect the rest of the family but at this level it is unavoidable. It will only get worse once I start to train for a full Ironman. And there is the sheer monetary component of all this. It is expensive. And I want to compete as much as possible. Racing/competing keeps me focused.
So I wonder how selfish I am being and how selfish I can be before I cross the line… I REALLY want to go to Nationals. I will do everything I can to make it happen. I just hope that isn’t too selfish.